INSPIRATION

Below is an essay included in a recent book published by La Femme Privee where Carol is listed as a "Woman of Influence." 

The 21st Century: 
A Preference for Human Relationships

By Carol Langford
October 9th, 2017

In her lilting, elegant Alabama accent and an ageless glint in her eye, my wonderful mentor, Dr. Florence Pert smiled at me from across a white linen draped dinner table and deliberately declared: “Carol, honey, the quality of your success in life depends entirely upon the quality of your relationships.”  It was the late 1990’s.  Her sage wisdom made sense to me then, but I did not know that a value for positive relationships would become a cornerstone of progressive, early 21st century leadership philosophy and practice.

Florence’s wisdom was hard won as a senior leader in a large and wealthy corporation which supported 5 churches in New York City and had been led by Caucasian men for most of its 150+ years in existence.  Florence was a woman who embodied the best in feminine leadership:  principled and unshakeable strength, shining intelligence, grace under aggression, and relevant, grounded, inspiring vision. Everybody loved her, especially the men who worked with her. She so beautifully led by example and demonstrated with integrity Mahatma Gandhi’s suggestion to ‘Be the change you want to see in the world.’

Long before I knew Florence, this positive relational context for living had seized my mind and heart. At the age of 8 there was a ‘calling’ to create kind, appreciative, win/win, relationships. My life experience at 8 had already taught me the brutal cost of chilly alienation, manipulative power games, and unreconciled conflict from the common human mistakes made by some of those around me. I knew at age 8 that I wanted to do things differently. At 8, I made a declaration: ‘This cycle of suffering will end with me.’

This early aspiration was innocent and naïve and, naturally, as a regular human person, I have since often failed in my attempt to end all suffering; but what has remained true for me is a value for creating a relational environment where I and others may thrive in freedom, fairness, safety, mutual respect, good will, tolerance for differences and appreciation for the extraordinarily unique miracle of every single person in existence.  

I’ll admit the American in me. Yes – an American straight outta Brooklyn!  That’s the Brooklyn Bridge in the background of my photo. I like it as a metaphor for the bridges I see us crossing from the industrial 20th century to the digital 21st. There are many bridges of change we’re navigating now.  A few examples might include the shift from a Newtonian to Quantum physics world view; from human to artificial intelligence; from hard copy to digital; physical to virtual; etc. These are just a few of the complex changes humans are facing.

Even in the midst of the enormous, sometimes worrisome complexity of this historic moment, I believe we carry great possibility for developing our highest human potential. I also believe that skillful stewardship of human relationships will be a primary driver in that quest.

The evidence for this human potential movement occurs in the latest discoveries in quantum physics, neuroscience, the robotics revolution, genomic research, artificial intelligence, emotional and somatic intelligence, and beyond. More leaders are harnessing the liberating power in bridging from a late 20th century, industrial, sharper  edged 0 sum, ‘winner take all,’ Wall Street landscape to one which seeks real equality, fairness, diversity and inclusion. 

This new movement is visible to me in the corporate space where I’ve served as a facilitator and coach for nearly 20 years and am now the Founder/Principal of Langford LLC, also in the nonprofit sector where I advocate for social entrepreneurs, and in the interfaith arena where I am a minister.  

As a champion for ‘values based leadership,’ it is exciting to witness the more creative and innovative leaders from all of these sectors ‘trending’ in skillful relationship building via:  respectful listening; transparency; collaboration; non-linear processing; play; emotional, social, somatic, cultural intelligence; a win/win context for achievement; trust; fun; non-violent communication; caring; sincerity; intimacy - all of the best soft skills for enriching and enlivening human experience.

I intend to continue to create learning programs which enhance such soft skills expertise! I think Florence would be pleased.